仔牛近道

先月迎えた自分の誕生日。一年前の誕生日は「おすくに」で賑やかに祝ってもらったことが記憶に新しく、矢のように過ぎたこの一年を振り返ります。ついに今月に控えた、（ま）の「森のようちえん　きらきら星」の卒園式に向けたアルバムづくりがひと段落ついて、ようやくそんな気持ちになったのだと思います。雄鶏のオンちゃんの鳴き声が響く早朝起床でのパソコン仕事も、再会して久しい。新たな日常が、戻ってきた予感！

　2019年（平成31年）1月2日に（さ）を迎え、母たちやご近所さんの協力の下、安心できる環境の中でスーパー安産、そして体重の増えない（さ）と授乳の日々。それでも1歳の誕生を経て見事な断乳式を迎えるに至ったことで、全て報われたことを知りました。（さ）の育児は、4回目にして最も「楽！」なのが驚きで、それもこれも上の３人が大きな助けになっているからなのは間違いない。そして一緒に（さ）の表情や変化を愉しみ喜ぶ仲間として、私の気持ちも明るくしてくれているのだろうなぁ。春からは、昼間は（さ）との2人奈良田お散歩生活が待っている。明浜での（う）と始まったお散歩生活だけれど、あの日々からもう10年近く経って、今、もう少し冷静に子育ての日々と付き合えているように思えるのが嬉しい。きっと、奈良田での在宅生活も楽しめる。



　この1年、我が家それぞれのメンバーが大きく飛躍した年として印象的です。今までだってたくさんの成長があったけれど、何だか今までよりも振れ方が大きいというか、仲良くまとまっていた上原家の子どもたちが一人ひとり自分の方角を模索して活動を始めたというか・・・
　象徴的なのは、（う）がインドを旅してきたこと。自分の生まれた街に行ってみたい、お世話になった人たちが元気なうちに、という願いを口に出し始めたのは去年くらいからだったでしょうか。本当は家族皆で行きたかったようですが、それは現実的にちょっと難しい。ならば、一人でも！と言うまでに（う）の意欲が高まったのは、何故だったのでしょうか。結局、お隣の高校生A君も冒険に参加、ビザの関係で（ゆ）がデリーまでアテンドすることになったものの、ムンバイ～コルカタと子どもだけでの大冒険。現地の友人たちの暖かい歓迎とサポートに包まれて、夢のような時間を過ごしてきた（う）。本人だけじゃなく、私も（ゆ）も、インドで迎えた友人たちだって、まさかこんな日が来るなんてと胸が熱くなったことは間違いない。この経験が、（う）の中で花開くのがいつになるか分からない。けれど、しっかり刻み込まれてきたことは、無事に帰国を迎えたときの表情でよく分かりました。

　

　少年（す）は、性格に幼さを残しつつも、この早川町に来て体と心の成長がぐんぐん伸びています。近くに遊び友達がいないことが幸か不幸か、夏のラフティングとの出会い、そして縁あってのカヌーデビュー。何より、本流堂のタケちゃんやクラフトパークの佐川コーチといった「憧れのおにいちゃん」達が、（す）のことを可愛がってくれることが有り難い。有り余るエネルギーを、川がおにいちゃんたちが「これでもか！」というほど受け止めてくれる有り難さ。奈良田公民館のプールに、借りてきたカヌーを浮かべて寒中練習もほほえましく、奈良田の新たな名物になる日も近いか・・・？でも、コーチに連れられて県外のカヌーマラソンや大会に参加するたびに、心も身体もムキムキになっていく（す）が見ている方角は、間違っていないように思えるのです。



　そんな姉兄を見ているからなのか、持ち前の性格なのか、（ま）はいかにもたくましく、しなやかです。（う）や（す）のような繊細さとは程遠く、奈良田を中心とした私とのお散歩生活も、ここまで充実したものにしてくれたのは、（ま）の明るさの賜物です。奈良田集落の人とのお付き合いを深め、距離を縮めてくれただけでなく、ミツロウバームやメープルシロップなどの生産活動を楽しめているのも、相方が（ま）だったからでしょう。月に数回しか参加させてあげられない「きらきら星」も、いい仲間に引き合わせてくれました。手のかかる（さ）に嫉妬することもなく、むしろお世話を買ってでて、かといって自分の意欲と主張に妥協もない。
そして1年生になることを今か今かと待ち望んできたこの1年は、爆発する笑顔とパワーがもううずうずしてたまらないといった様子。（ま）の身体的な成長は我が家にしてはかつてなく、（う）が3年生の時に着ていた服をもう着ているし、年が明けてから陸上クラブにも、しっかり同じペースで参加していることからも明らかです。優しさと強さが頼もしく、まーちゃん、どこへ向かうのでしょう。

　

　我らの（ゆ）は、公私ともに「まちづくり」。忙しい日々は、苦労もあること間違いないけれど、それを仕事としてできている環境が奇跡的だと思って横で見ています。それから、同世代でそんな話が出来る友人が数人でも近くにいることも、きっと40歳を迎えて、今まで頑張ってきたゆえのご褒美なのかも。平日・週末も区別なく忙しそうでも、子どもたちの人気者。彼らと付き合えるときはしっかり向き合っているからに違いないのでしょうね。石垣を直すのも、大学で教えることも、町内外を駆け回る姿も、今までの全ての経験が活きているのは必然なのか。「いいおっちゃん」道はまだまだ続く。

　

　自分はというと、意外にも（さ）の育児に「追われている」という感覚もなく、目覚めてから就寝までノンストップな毎日だけれど疲弊することもなく、心に余裕があるのが不思議なくらい。それだけのんびりとオバチャンになれているということなのか、呑気すぎるということなのか。主婦で育児を楽しめる環境の有り難さを噛みしめています。先月迎えた誕生日のその日に、鹿のスジ肉を使ったアチャールが大成功して、こたつで飲んでいた（ゆ）とお隣さんが大絶賛してくれたことが何より嬉しかったです。37歳、変わりゆく子どもたちと家族と、変わりない日常を送っていることに、感謝。


　
　「集まり散じて人は変われど　皆同じ月を見ている」
むくむくと大きくなる我が家の面々が、それぞれの方角に動き出す。巣立っていく日だって来るのでしょう。こんな時に「集まり散じて～」を思い出すなんて今まで思ってもいなかったけれど、それもまた良し、ですね。

（わ）


People get together and then scatter to different places, and sometimes…


It was my birthday last month. I still clearly remember how my family and friends had celebrated it with a lively dinner at our favorite Soba-noodle restaurant “Osukuni” last year. Now I’m looking back at the previous year which has passed in the blink of an eye. It has indeed been more than a year since I wrote the last blog article, but having gone through a few big family events, I finally came to feel that I really should sum up. I used to go to bed as early as my children so that I could wake up around 2 or 3 am to secure my working time in front of the PC, and after a long break, I finally re-started that working style these days. Hearing our rooster crow from very early morning, I feel that my next chapter has begun!



　We welcomed our fourth child, Saede, on 2nd Jan. 2019. Thanks to a huge support from our parents and neighbors, I had such an easy delivery, which was followed by long and tough breast-feeding days though. For some reason, Saede didn’t gain weight smoothly at the beginning. However, having started eating baby food after the 100th day since she was born, her weight began to increase tremendously, and by now no one can find that underweight-tiny little baby in her, We conducted the weaning ceremony a few days after her 1st birthday, just like we did for the other three, Saede had no difficulty at all weaning from breast milk, and the success of weaning told me that the long and hard breast-feeding period was meaningful. I feel that nursing Saede was the easiest among our four children thanks to the great help from the other three. (and Yuki’s support, needless to say!). I’m happy not only to have their practical support, but also to be able to share whatever my feelings and experiences regarding Saede-nursing were. From this April, Makasa will go to school with Umeo and Sukla, so myself and Saede are the only ones who will stay at home. Thinking back, these home-based days with small kids had started with Umeo only in Akehama more than 10 years ago. Time flies, but now I feel calmer, and I can take raising kids more objectively than before – I think I have added ages to my life quite successfully, hah! I’m sure that I can enjoy the home-based Narada days with Saede, too.

In the last one year, each member of my family has taken a big step forward. Till now, of course they have shown a lot of growth, but the changes this year were much bigger and more unique than ever. It seems like each one has started moving towards his/her own direction….
The symbolic event was Umeo’s journey to India during last Christmas and the new year season. It was around one year ago when Umeo started saying that she wished to visit her birthplace and meet our family friends. To be honest, she wanted to go with us as a whole family, but it was not feasible at least up to this year. So, she made up her mind to challenge this by herself. Eventually, our neighbor's 16-year-old son, Akinobu ,decided to join Umeo in her venture for his own experience, and Yuki had to attend to them, or else they couldn’t get visas! Even if Yuki flew with them, it was still a big challenge for her because he would go on a separate way after landing at New Delhi and visit his friends in Mussoorie. However, chaperoned by a special and warm attendant, and being hosted by our Indian friends, Umeo, together with Akinobu, had such a wonderful time in Mumbai and Kolkata for 10 days. Not only Umeo, but also we, her parents and our Indian friends, who have known her since she was born, must have felt something special. I don’t know what this experience will mean to her in the future, but when she came back, I could see dignity and confidence in her, which indicated that her personality has had precious impacts.


　
Our boy Sukla is still has a childish personality, but his physical and mental growth have been tremendous in this Hayakawa town. Luckily or unluckily, he doesn’t have any other boys around his age near our house, but he has found something that attracts him – rafting and canoeing in the real river. Those sports themselves excite him, but what I appreciate is the interactions with Take-chan and Sagawa-san, who are specialists of the river, and who can navigate and grasp his superfluous energy. During summer, he had joined Take-chan’s rafting tour almost every weekend, and during winter, he had started canoe practice with Sagawa-san, an active canoe player of the National Athletic Meet, in Fujikawa-river. Sukla borrowed a small canoe from Sagawa-san and practices almost every day in a small swimming pool of the Narada community center. (It’s a small outdoor pool, just around 15 meters long and right next to our house!). It looks really strange - a kid canoeing in a pool even in the cold season, so many of tourists call out to him saying “Aren’t you cold? Aha, I see, it must be a hot spring!” etc., but, it’s as cold as snowmelt! I can clearly see Sukla’s mental and physical growth every time Sagawa-san takes him to canoe marathon and slalom competitions, which are held in various prefectures. I feel that the direction towards which Sukla has started heading is not bad….



Maybe for having such older siblings, or due to her own personality, Makasa is indeed strong and cheerful. Unlike the older two, Makasa’s personality is not subtle at all, but tough and friendly. Thanks to her openness, our home-based days have been enriched. The distance between the local people of Narada and us has become so close, and we have been enjoying producing various things, such as beeswax, maple syrups, etc, - I have been able to enjoy all those activities mainly because my partner has been Makasa.
I had taken her to an open-air nursery group, Karakira-boshi, a few times a month since she was 5 years old, and had started wanting to play with other kids. It takes more than an hour by car, so I couldn’t take as often as she wished, but still, she enjoyed meeting friends there and wove such a nice network including our whole family as well.
I often admire her personality because she is not jealous of her little sister at all, but rather enjoys baby-sitting her. On the other hand, she never gives up on her resolutions though! Specially this year, the countdown has started for her to enter the elementary school, and her excitement and energy seems about to burst out! Yes, she has been dreaming of becoming an 1st-grade-student and going to school with Umeo and Sukla. Her physical growth is tremendous compare to Umeo and Sukla when they were Makasa’s age. - She wears clothes that Umeo used to wear in her 3rd-year of school and joins sports club’s activities, held twice a week in the evening, just like the other two older siblings. You are such a gentle and strong girl Makasa, which direction will you happily go to from now on? I’m too excited to think.

　

Our big-daddy Yuki has been so busy with his mission, community development, both officially and unofficially. Every single activity he involves himself in has a certain meaning - to contribute to the revitalization of Hayakawa-town. I’m sure that he has been going through a lot of struggles in many ways, but still, it’s miracle that he can tackle them as his professional job. What relieves me here is that Yuki has some close friends, around his age, who can share his feelings and discuss them together - even concerning serious topics. Having become 40 years old now, this environment is maybe a gift that he has been keeping running and making efforts till now. Although he is busy even in weekends and doesn’t stay at home at all, but our children are still big fans of him. That’s because he certainly faces each kid whenever he can spend time with them. He proves that quantity of time spent with kids doesn’t matter, but quality does. Activities inside and outside Hayakawa-town including the traditional stone wall repair, teaching at a University once in a while, coordinating with those who wish to move into Hayakawa-town, organizing workshops related to community development, and so on, are all supported by the backbone of the experiences he has gained till now. I can’t stop feeling that it’s meant to be so.

As for me, it’s NOT like “Oh no, help! I’m just crazily busy taking care of kids, with no time for myself…!” There is no question that I never stop moving from the moment I wake up until I go to bed doing all the house/family chores, but I never feel that any of them is a burden. I somehow have plenty of room in my heart. It means that I’m successfully gaining in my age, or am I just too easy going? I truly appreciate the environment that allows me to be a mother, enjoying housework, making small scale natural products, and sometimes doing home-based translation work.
On the day of my 37th birthday last month, I was trying out a new recipe of dear meat which is usually difficult to cook, and it went so well! As usual, Yuki and our next-door neighbor Saori were drinking beer at the Kotatsu chatting with me -this is such a normal scene - of them drinking and chatting, and I’m at the kitchen beside them - and they loved the new recipe as well! It made me so happy and this became the biggest birthday gift. The greatest gift is that I’m spending routine, ordinary days with my family, who keep changing.

　
　
“People get together and then scatter to different places, and sometimes we change our path, but still, we all look up to the same moon”

I never thought that I would relate these lines to me and my family members. However, now it’s truly so, because each of us have already started heading towards different directions.

Wakana